Reflect, Realign, Resume

I've been feeling off track this week. I haven't been as diligent in keeping my daily schedule, and things have slipped out of focus. While I've still worked toward my goals, I feel disjointed.

I've decided to take the day to reflect on what is going on in my life that may have led me astray. I want to realign my focus to direct my energy and attention back to my chosen path. In that way, I can resume my journey with purpose.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, perhaps some of what I aim to do today will help you regain your path toward your purpose.

First, our brains have evolved to create habits. Habits are things we have learned that have become "set and forget" actions. For example, how often do you have to think about how to get dressed in the morning? If we had to relearn everything each new day, we would not have the brain power to learn new things.

The longer we have these habits and the more times we have acted on them, the more solidly ingrained they become. The more solid our habits are, the more difficult it can be to form new ones, especially ones that are counter to established patterns.

When you find yourself slipping into old habits that are unhelpful to your current desires, firstly, do not chastise yourself. Accept this is how brains work, and offer yourself forgiveness, love, and kindness. We can use this moment to learn more about ourselves and grow from it.

Next, we have to do some self-reflection. What set us off our path? What distracted us? I have a habit of hyper-focusing on things that I enjoy and that are currently challenging me. The quilt mending project I recently finished is where I started to lose focus.

I had been working on this one major project for over a month. As I neared its completion, I was anxious to begin something new. It had also become monotonous, felling edges and machine sewing so many straight lines. I had three small projects that I was looking forward to and wanted to move on to.

I did allow myself a short breather by completing a "palette cleanser" project. It only took a day or two, but here's where I slipped into hyper-focusing on a tiny thing and began to allow my larger goals take secondary priority. When I returned to the quilt mending, I was so anxious to finish it that I spent large chunks of my days on it. More tasks toward my larger life goals slipped off my radar.

With the quilt project finally complete, the freedom to begin two knitting projects was too enticing. I spent two days designing and knitting a hat. I'm unsure how many days I have dropped practically everything to design and knit a pair of amusing novelty socks. It was at this point I realized I had fallen into an old unproductive habit.

These types of projects trigger my dopamine. They give me instant gratification. However, when I obsess over them, they detract from my long-term happiness. These last few months, I have been working on building a small business so that I can be in charge of every moment of my days. It has been most rewarding. It has provided a higher level of happiness every day rather than one high spike in happiness for a day or two, followed by a return to the status quo.

With this awareness of what triggered my old habits and which habit(s) I chose and why, I can disengage from autopilot. Tony Robbins said, "A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.” Now that we've chosen our path, what actions will we take?

For myself, when I first sit down at my desk in the morning, taking time to read my goals, check my planner and schedule, and then choosing what to focus on for the day is an action that has proven invaluable. I type out a short list of things I want to accomplish and refer back to it throughout the day to keep myself on track. Usually, there are a few "I will do" things and one or two "reach goals" that I would like to do, but I will only do them if I feel like it.

One last thing I would like to note. Nowhere in this process do we compare ourselves to others. Our progress is our own. We set our target goals, we say what counts as progress, and we say when we've achieved something or if we decide to change our path. Your life is yours to live. The friends you have, the influencers you follow, the celebrities in the media- they aren't living your life. You have no one to impress but yourself, and each small step forward is a win to celebrate.