Review: Love Your Enemies - Arthur C. Brooks

Love Your Enemies by Arthur C. Brooks has an unfortunate cover for readers like me. This type of cover causes my eyes to glaze over and slide right past it without seeing the book for what it might be. I won't repeat the adage about books and covers; we all know it.

Arthur Brooks' writing style is much more digestible than I anticipated. I was two chapters in before I realized I'd unintentionally read so much in one sitting.

His writing style aside, what drew me into the book was the unexpected perspective of a middle-aged white man, deeply entrenched in political circles, who advocates for love as our path forward, not contempt. In our current era, this viewpoint feels refreshingly unique. Our lives seem inundated with anger, hate, and disgust, whether we're experiencing it or it's permeating our surroundings like air pollution.

Through relatable examples, Brooks demonstrates how practicing loving kindness can transform contempt into open, caring dialogue. He draws from the wisdom of therapists and religious leaders, offering practical rules that we can apply in our own lives to effectively counter our contempt for others and the contempt directed at us.

I had not considered how my contempt for certain stereotypes of American citizens may harm my views and opinions and cause me to be more close-minded than I envision myself. Brooks argues that we should not avoid disagreeing with others whose opinions differ vastly from our own; instead, we should "disagree better." He states that even the title of his book is misleading because we should see each other as humans worthy of dignity, not as enemies, and approach our differing opinions with an open heart.

Brooks suggests that once we resort to contempt, yelling, and name-calling, we begin acting as though those who disagree with us are no longer worthy of consideration. That they are no longer humans deserving of dignity. He also points out that no one has ever been swayed to an opposing viewpoint by being shouted down.

I appreciated Brooks's reminder that we often share more similarities than differences with those we disagree with. We all want to contribute to a better world, fundamentally. Our disagreements usually stem from differing approaches. People are more likely to open their hearts and minds to differing opinions when they are approached with love and respect, a universal desire for all of us.

I enjoyed "Love Your Enemies" much more than I anticipated. While I support the idea, I definitely needed the refresher and Mr. Brooks's suggestions on how to implement it. His approach to disagreements directly aligns with the person I choose to be.